Trust me when I say that I love to turn a phrase. I’m cornier than a bag of corn nuts, and my brain can take almost any word or situation and create a hybrid word to describe the thing or activity.
Most are just plain stupid (just ask my family or friends who’ve been subjected to thousands of these over the years), but I do come up with a few good ones from time to time, even a great one now and then. For example, I’m very proud of having created “canine cocktail” to describe a mixed breed dog who’s a shot of this breed, jigger of that, and splash of this dog.
Here are a few of my favorites:
- Fur-Play ‚Äì When Teresa and I wake up early and massage the dogs.
- Purrmuda Triangle ‚Äì The area not to pet on a cat!
- Pupcorn Popper – Dogs running around the inside of the car.
- Lolli-pups – When dogs lick each other.
- Bark-aelogy (vs. archaeology) – Dogs who dig a deep hole in the yard.
- Shit-zophrenic (schizophrenia) ‚Äì Dog who normally goes the same spot for No. 2 and then suddenly starts going anywhere or everywhere.
- Crap-itizers – Dogs that eat forbidden snacks in the yard before dinner.
- Bowel-Room-Dancing or ‚ÄúSo you think you can prance!‚Äù – The poop-dance dogs doing after going No. 2 when they spin out with alternate rear legs and that silly grin.
- Dung Shui ‚Äì The careful placing of feces in the yard by a dog (who you want to hurry up and do his business).
- Grrrrometer ‚Äì Measuring how happy your pet is or excited to see a squirrel, etc.
- Mutro-sexual ‚Äì A dog who is well-trimmed and has pawdicure at groomers, teeth brightened at the vet’s, wears the latest canine couture with some bling-around-the-collar.
- Furtigo ‚Äì You walked into a shelter, got dizzy with love, and were knocked off of your feet with affection and adopted a pet.
- InDOGnito ‚Äì When a dog thinks one‚Äôs identity is disguised or concealed when attempting to hide a treat in plain sight in the house.
- Mutt-ador ‚Äì Wave arms as pets race by you in reciprocating direction in zoon-around-the-room show (like Matador with a bull).
- Wagnificent ‚Äì What a dog looks like after leaving the groomers with a jaunty switch of the tail.
- Catfateria ‚Äì What your pantry looks like with all the cat foods you‚Äôve purchased to try and tempt a finicky cat.
- Furricane ‚Äì A dog rushing around after a squirrel.
- ReLAPse ‚Äì When you kick a dog off of your lap to eat, watch TV and they climb back on.
- Meowch ‚Äì The feeling you‚Äôll get when you rub a cat‚Äôs stomach for 1/10th of a second too long.
Can you add some to the list for our edutainment?